*Deep bass voice* “In a world … where can-do guys and deal-makers get betrayed at every turn by whiny Canadians, finger-wagging Germans and traitorous so-called reformist uncles who sadly needed to be executed for their own good, two men stood tall. Two friends. Two heroes.”

“They knew that together they could save the planet. The world was against them. The fake news media had placed a lot of undue emphasis on out-of-context remarks like ‘little rocket man’ and ‘dotard’. But only these hombres could denuclearise the Korean peninsula. Or some of it anyway. This summer … check out the bromance of the century. Check out Kim and Donald’s Potent Summit. They feel the need. The need for diplomacy. Get some!”